Finding the right counsellor or psychotherapist is about finding someone you feel you could work closely with in a trusting and professional relationship. The idea of disclosing our personal difficulties to someone we have never met inevitably raises some anxiety—perhaps the very thing we wish to be free of! We may feel that our problems aren’t serious enough to warrant this kind of help, or that they’re too much for the counsellor. It is therefore not surprising that many people find it daunting, not to say nerve-wracking, to take those first few steps.

It may help to meet with a few therapists in order to assess for yourself which one feels right for you. You have every right to ask them about their experience and qualifications, and whether they think they’re competent to work with the issues you bring. Having met with a counsellor, do you think that they would be sufficiently understanding, genuine and challenging in a supportive way? What does your ‘gut feel’ say to you about the therapist?

On a practical level some counsellors offer an initial meeting, either free or at a reduced rate, in order to explore how you both might engage in the issues you wish to work on. Others may offer such a consultation, but charge for their time. Either way it can give you a sense of assurance to make your own assessment of such a professional.